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Anything not Everything

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It's Monday afternoon, one child is taking a nap and the other is playing ball just on the other side of my door. My side garage door. Not the door to the shop. I am happily filling bottles with linen spray. This is a far cry from life just a month ago.

2015 was the year I tried to do it all. Move my business to a shop two towns over, grow the business and take two three year olds with me to work everyday. It was as if I was in some sort of race, a race to grow B & N faster than lightening. A race against the clock I had created in my head. Meanwhile, with each new account, each new concept, every new twist on a product, I was losing myself. It started with normal stress that comes with starting a new company. Your basic worried nights, cash flow crunches, and inventory issues. Then it started to flow into parenting. My temper shorter and shorter everyday. I'd be putting socks on kid’s squirmy feet while taking phone calls from vendors, clients and telemarketers. Everyone was getting my attention except those who really needed it, my family.

More and more gray hairs filled my head, I looked older, and sad. And with the stress came the weight gain. I must have gained over 20 pounds in just one year.

I doubt I'll ever truly begin to convey just how horrible the nightmare I was living felt.

In December, I was confronted with the reality, that the twins were turning four years old. Three had come and gone. There had been little time for butterfly catching, kite flying, beach trips and just enjoying the wonderful of the preschool age.

Something had to be done.

I took a hard look at my product line, my production, and my lease. It was time for things to go.

First, I reached out to my landlord and begged him to get me out of the lease. To my surprise, he did. He quickly found a new tenant and we are moving out of the building this month. Then it was time to take a look at all that fluff. Too many twist of the same product. So I cut out the extra and stuck with our top sellers.

A wave of relief came over me immediately. Each day that passes, I feel better. I'm caught up on orders, and catching up on projects I have put off. My vision for B & N is clear and my body is thankful for the healthy foods I've been giving it.

Most importantly, my family is happy. The twins have a mommy who is able to spend quality time with them. They aren't forced out the door in the early morning and then made to spend time with a frustrated and stressed out mom.

I learned a million lessons last year and the most important lesson was that while I can do anything, I cannot do everything.