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It gets awesome

Posted by Rachel Bollin on


It's summer, my favorite time of year. 

 The twins are 4 years old and I've taken them to the pool nearly every day for the past week.  They play in the "little kid pool"  It's only a couple of feet deep and they are using it to master the skills I teach them in the "big pool".  I watch them swim and play while I sit in the lounge chair.  Glancing down at my legs, I take notice that my skin is tan.  The first tan I've had since I was pregnant with them.  I'm tan and happy.  Then I notice something else.  Something wonderful.  I'm not stressed out.  In the back of my head, I have a million worries.  Invoices to pay, invoices to be sent, paper work, marketing and orders.  But that is all business stress.  I'm not mom stressed.  I'm not a bundle of a thousand worries about what can happen to the twins.  They don't need me as much, they are ok.  

The change happened slowly since they turned 4.  I took notice with small things and then this past month, big things.  We went to Sea World and didn't use a stroller.  No one cried, no one asked to be picked up and carried.  They just walked with me and held my hand.  It was awesome.  We went to Napa to visit my mom, I got up every morning and went for a run, I knew if they woke up before I got back, they would be perfectly fine and could tell my mom what they needed.  Now this, the pool days.  

A couple of times I had to reassure myself that it's ok to enjoy this change.  It's ok to be happy that my girls aren't toddlers or infants anymore. That we can do fun things together without all the drama that comes with having little kids.  

To my mom friends with little ones.  To the moms breastfeeding, bottle feeding, carrying around diaper bags, strollers, wagons, bottles, changes of clothes and wondering how long it's going to take you to get out of the house and if it's even worth it.  It gets better.  No wait, it gets awesome.  I promise.  

Finding what was lost

Before I was a mom, I was me.  Who was I?  I was energetic, athletic, and a little bit selfish.   When I say selfish, I mean in ways that really didn't seem selfish, they just seemed normal.  I worked out when I wanted to, always had my hair done and if I wanted to go [...]

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